By Sally Cross, Therapeutic Life & Relationship Coach at Natural Change Coaching.
Do you say "Yes" too much? It is common for us to say "Yes" to endless requests, invites and commitments without giving proper consideration to the effect it may be having on us. This can lead to feeling overwhelmed, exhausted and stressed out. But what if the key to regaining our energy lies in a simple two-letter word: "No"?
Recognising Energy Drainers
We can begin by identifying what drains our energy. This may be time-consuming projects, toxic people or relationships.
We can reflect on which activities and people genuinely uplift us, and which leave us feeling drained and overwhelmed.
One idea is to consider keeping a journal to track our daily commitments and feelings. Writing down each activity along with our energy levels afterwards can help identify the culprits, patterns and triggers. For instance, after attending an event, you might feel drained, while spending time with close friends restores your energy. Realising such differences can clarify what to embrace and what to decline.
Saying "No"
Saying "no" is a skill we can develop over time. Many people struggle with this, it may be a fear of disappointing others or missing opportunities. However, it’s important to realise that our time and energy are limited resources.
When a new request, invitation or commitment arises, we can ask ourself: "Will this energise or deplete me?" If the response suggests depletion, prepare to decline gently but firmly. We don’t need to furnish elaborate reasons, saying “I can’t commit to that right now” is enough.
Cultivating Confidence
Confidence in declining commitments grows from understanding our priorities. Identifying what truly matters in our lives, be it nurturing personal projects, spending quality time with family or friends, or engaging in self-care.
We can create a list of our top values to help guide us in making choices. For instance, if health and family time rank high, we can prioritise them, which guides us in making the right decisions. Establishing clear boundaries based on these values will bolster our confidence to choose well-being over guilt. Every time we decline something that drains us, we're affirming commitments to what uplifts us.
Self-Care
When we face internal resistance while saying no, we can connect with our support circle, this may be family members or friends. Their encouragement can reaffirm that saying no is an act of self-care, not selfishness. Sharing our experiences can reveal strategies for navigating difficult situations. For example, talking to a friend who faced a similar challenge can provide insights on handling pressure effectively.
Embracing Your Decision
Saying no should stem from a sense of empowerment. Embracing the freedom that prioritising our energy brings. Each time we decline an energy-draining commitment, we’re creating space for opportunities that resonate with ourselves and our values...
Visualising our new strength: we can see that each "no" is a stepping stone toward a more fulfilling life. Celebrate these moments, acknowledging that they lead to personal growth and renewed passion for what truly brings us joy.
Personal Growth
Navigating our commitments with intention is essential in a world full of demands. Saying no to activities that drain our energy opens pathways to personal enrichment. By understanding what affects our energy, building confidence to decline, and surrounding ourselves with supportive people, we will unlock the power within to embrace a more joyful and focused life.
There are many reasons for us having difficulties in saying no. It is possible that it can stem from childhood, past experiences, unhelpful beliefs, insecurity, low self-esteem, lack of self-worth, confidence issues and more...
If you would like help in navigating the mind maze, improving the quality of your life, prioritising your own self-care, then drop me a line to see if I can help you..
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